Someone's in the house. He's watching. He's creeping round, only you can't see him. He's watching you from the walls. He's right behind you now. Looking over your shoulder. He wants the remote control. He's a bad boy. He wants to watch bad movies. Bad bad Ronald...

Friday, September 23, 2016

Bad Ronald Peep Alert: Did I Just Uncover a Secret J.K. Simmons Horror Debut?

So... I came across something of a secret, I think. Something I'm not quite sure anyone knows about, even though it's right there in the wide open, for all to see. On Amazon Prime Video no less. How out in the open can something be when it's on Amazon Prime? Am I right?

While looking for some old school horror to watch this past weekend, I turned to good ol' APV. They're not the bastion of old school horror, iby any means. But, lately they've collected a good number of VHS style retro flicks, and not just horror, but comedies and drama from the 70s and 80s. It's a real kick! I felt like I had uncovered some dust covered box at a grage sale, loaded with old Betamax tapes!

Through the summer I have watched several of these retro titles (like Embryo, Play Dead, Frightmare, Going Steady, Preacherman...), and as it were, Amazon will offer up a list of similar titles of interest. So, looking through the suggestions I found a title that caught my eye -- The Forest (1982). From the 80s style movie poster icon I could tell it was clearly not the Natalie Dormer starring film, but it looked most appealing, with the graphic illustration of a couple running through the trees, with a large handheld knife, and a pair of creepy eyes tormenting them. Naturally I click on it.

The surprise isn't the movie itself. Although it's pretty fun to watch, with it's mix of Deliverance-style deep woods hi-jinx and fantasy ghost children and cannibalism, the real surprise was who was in it. I couldn't tell by the credits, but as I watched the movie I was puzzled by who one of the main characters reminded me of. Then it dawned on me -- J.K. Simmons!  Not only did I think the guy reminded me of him, but I think it IS actually him.

In the credits, the part of "Steve" is played by someone named Dean Russell. The thing is, it's hard to verufy any Dean Russell since he has only two IMDB credits: The Forest, and a "Doctor" on the soap opera One Life to Live. There's nothing else anywhere in the known cyberverse on Dean Russell.

The other roadblock is there's no credit for JK Simmons being in The Forest on IMDB, or Wikipedia, or any review sites that have reviewed The Forest.  There is absolutely no mention of JK Simmons being in The Forest. But, I swear it's him.  He's got a fair amount of hair on the top of his head, but you can see it's not this long for the world. The eyes are the same, sorta bugged. There's that tell-tale smirk. And then there's the voice. Spot on. Am I imagining all this? Or is it rally him? And why hasn't anyone else noticed this out there in the interwebs?

Check the flic out on Amazon Prime Video. And... Please look at these and tell me I'm not losing my marbles...

Hey buddy, I'm gonna go hide in the woods and reinvent myself.
If you tell anyone who I am, I'll go Schillinger on you!
Oh snap. I think they're on to me.
Nevermind. My secret identity is safe.






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