Someone's in the house. He's watching. He's creeping round, only you can't see him. He's watching you from the walls. He's right behind you now. Looking over your shoulder. He wants the remote control. He's a bad boy. He wants to watch bad movies. Bad bad Ronald...

Friday, March 2, 2012

Dear God No! -- BadRonald Sez F&#k Yes!

So long ago I caught the red band trailer for Dear God No! plastered all over FaceBook and various genre blogs.  It started out a little something about "sissies and individuals with heart conditions should not watch..."  Um... press play, goddamit!!

What followed was an onslaught of retro 70s grindhouse mayhem: bikers posing with the backdrop of a drive-in screen and explosions, limbs ripped in two, Bigfoot attacks on Frenken-nazis (whaaaat!) -- but, wait.... they had me at gun-totting dancers with Nixon masks.   Dear.  God.  Yes.

Dear God No! director James Bickert did me an awful kindness by sending out an advanced screener of his crazy-ass mash up of genres.  Holy shit did I have a good time watching this acid freakout!  There have been countless films that flash the grindhouse badge, but rarely none have the actual credentials.  Even the Tarantino/Rodriguez headlined titular ode -- with all its "lost" reels and roughed up negative antics and CG replicated old skool FX -- failed to really captured the essence of real grindhouse fare.  That studio stuff was a little too tongue in cheek, and self gratifying.  Where Bickert succeeded was not just in the look of the old grindhousers -- shooting on 16mm Fuji film stock, and using hands on FX -- but also with the mood and feel of the 60s and 70s experimental weirdo flicks. 

DGN! wastes no time on pleasantries, fouling the minds of the viewer with the opening scene.  An eagle swoops majestically in the clear blue skies, over an open field where the notorious biker gang The Impalers rustle themselves awake after a night of debauchery.  Strewn amongst them are bodies of the nuns they've violated and left for dead.  Holy shitniks!  We're not in your average smiley Hollywood grindhouse rip-off anymore!!!  This is the real deal Neal Sedaka!  This film does exactly what the narrator of the red band trailer says The Impalers do -- "ravishes and rapes and destroys everything that's decent." 

Meanwhile, back at the house in the woods... Nutty scientist and weirdly awkward daughter conduct secret experiments and monstrous studies.  When the Impalers come roaring in for a night of raping and pillaging... well, as the movie trailer warns "What happens in this house will freak you out."

Dear God No! hits the grindhouse on the head.  It works as a hot blooded ode to the trash flicks of 42nd Street, without wallowing in fanboy worship, as well as as a legit piece of drive-in exploitation.  There's even a sappy hippie Last House on the Left song in the closing credits!  So, what more can you ask for?  You've got nun-violatin', kid-slayin' bikers, rampaging Bigfoots, stiched up Franken-nazis, Trcky-Dick strippers with machine-guns, and Manson Family style abortions.  Seriously, Dear God No! rips the heads off all the other grindhouse wannabes, and shits down their puny necks.  It's pure bloody rock and roll trash gold!   Dear God No! -- fuck yes!

Check out my interview with director James Bickert here.


  1. Holy crap Alex -- It's so great and so so wrong that is it pure joy to watch.