Someone's in the house. He's watching. He's creeping round, only you can't see him. He's watching you from the walls. He's right behind you now. Looking over your shoulder. He wants the remote control. He's a bad boy. He wants to watch bad movies. Bad bad Ronald...

Sunday, January 23, 2011

PEEPHOLE REVIEW: Chain Letter (2010)

Recipe for a bad horror movie:

- 200 gallons of blood
- 2 reams of tired horror plot lines from J Horror and Saw
- a dozen cracked cast member (make sure they're smoking hot and young)
- add in endless amounts of horror cliches
- top it all off with bad acting and toss into the garbage

Quite possibly the worst movie I've seen in years... probably because it's made up of every bad moment from every bad horror movie made in the last 10 years.  I could only imagine that the script was made up of pages ripped out of the steel fasteners of other scripts.
Even around death, we're soooo hot

The plot is held together (loosely) by a silly notion that someone is texting and emailing a chain letter to a handful of teen models.  If the kids don't forward the message to a bunch of other hotties, then they'll die.  The goofy thing is, some of the kids die right after deleting the message, some die several scenes later, some don't.  The rules of horror movie fun don't matter here.  In fact, they've been spilled on the floor, like the gallons of blood, thrown all about, as if to say This what horror is, right?
Trust me, it would be better than watching this movie
Side note:  Can someone please rescue Brad Dourif from this horror genre prison sentance.  The man is too talented.  Thank you.


  1. Heard this was pretty horrible. Will keep avoiding it.

  2. I'd love to say that the blood and girlie tub scenes were worth it... but they're really not!